I think we are all currently feeling it. The internet is a total wasteland. Between the algorithm, the arguments and just the general rat race of it all.
I have nearly all but given up posting anywhere, outside of the dopamine bumps I get from posting the occasional reel to my story, but even there it’s just a massive pang of resentment. “Why am I doing this? Who even cares?” Even my own ‘Story’ just poses as the results of my infinite scroll and its all just feeling a little grim.
I’m aware of course of the irony of posting ‘Who even cares?’ to my own blog as if it is any different, but at least there is a sense of ownership of that here, and a more permanent one at that instead of the transient nature of the feed.
Ive stopped and started, this blog, my patreon, and other places where I fart my voice onto the internet so who knows if i’ll keep up here but its nice to have a place to try.
I have largely been creatively quiet for most of this year, at least publicly facing, but behind the scenes I feel like I’m busier than ever. In the advent of AI I feel more and more like I want to escape my computer all together and draw traditionally so I have been filling sketchbooks and falling in love with drawing again. I’ve also began dabbling in painting again, although I struggle with this still I reckon that’s part of the fun. In it’s own way this is the creative ideal. Just making stuff for fun and seeing where creativity takes you but I still have to pay my insanely exorbitant Bristol rent so as with all things it’s a constant balance.
Professionally lately I have been working a lot with the amazing team over at Lost in Cult. I feel more than most out there in the wild this is a team that values art above all else and I think that is extremely clear from both their output and conversations with the owner, Jon. Together we have been working on the recently announced World of Horror Board game, of which I also got to contribute a few pieces of original art to that world, which I’m incredibly grateful for. I’ve also been patching up Deadeus X behind the scenes after a bit of a gap. It’s nearly all in order and I’m excited to have that out there and make something new.
What’s next?
Well, if you know me in person, you know all too well about my short attention span…
I have many projects I want to make:
I have started working on a new game, but it’s already starting to fall by the wayside as other work takes priority so I’m going to attempt to dig that back out. I also have a stack of written up game ideas I want to get to one day but as I always say, everything has to take it’s time else it won’t get done at all. I would like to one day maybe record this process in a bit of a video developer log too.
As much as I love making games I think making art was always the dream, and that’s fallen a little bit by the wayside in the balance too. Again with AI I’ve done less and less of the digital style most people recognise my work from and I worry my traditional stuff moves a little too far from that but bringing it all back into some sort of union would be the way forward. I have so many little projects for this such as creating more of my Boxsets, Art for games I love, Card Alters, and more and more.
Comics! I miss them. They take bleddy forever and they don’t really come out right but the insane sense of satisfaction when you finish one is so good. I’m LONG overdue returning to Stereodeth and I’m currently hammering another thing out with a collaborator I love.
Who knows though ey. I’m so scatterbrained that another post in 3 months saying ‘I’m restarting this blog’ is probably more likely but it’s always the effort that matters most right? This post is a little bit of a message in a bottle as I don’t think anyone follows here yet but it’s good to keep it here for the record and the writing practice.
